I'm feeling pretty horrible right now...because I'm envious but mostly because this envy makes little sense.
My co-worker just came back to the office, after taking a few days off due to a torn ACL. As soon as he came back to the office, all our colleagues gathered around him, asking him how he was, saying things like "I'm so sorry, that sucks", "that's horrible, how are you feeling now?" and "I'll make you a lasagna since you can't really cook now."
When I came back to work, 2 women gave me hugs, but other than that, no one has said a thing to me. My coworkers didn't even look me in the eye. They didn't ask me how I was. They didn't say they were sorry. They didn't tell me "that's horrible." Nothing. Four weeks have passed and they haven't even mentioned my son's name, acknowledged my loss, acknowledged my pain.
Fair enough, my injured coworker is wearing a knee brace, which makes his pain very visible. But my pain is not physical. My pain is emotional, it's deep and yes, it is horrible. More horrible than tearing an ACL.
I know that these are two different things. I know that people feel awkward talking about death. It's easier to talk about knee surgeries than it is to talk about a dead baby. But I need their support. I need them to acknowledge that I gave birth and that my son died. Why do they pretend that nothing happened? That is so hurtful - as if losing my baby was an insignificant event...
My co-worker just came back to the office, after taking a few days off due to a torn ACL. As soon as he came back to the office, all our colleagues gathered around him, asking him how he was, saying things like "I'm so sorry, that sucks", "that's horrible, how are you feeling now?" and "I'll make you a lasagna since you can't really cook now."
When I came back to work, 2 women gave me hugs, but other than that, no one has said a thing to me. My coworkers didn't even look me in the eye. They didn't ask me how I was. They didn't say they were sorry. They didn't tell me "that's horrible." Nothing. Four weeks have passed and they haven't even mentioned my son's name, acknowledged my loss, acknowledged my pain.
Fair enough, my injured coworker is wearing a knee brace, which makes his pain very visible. But my pain is not physical. My pain is emotional, it's deep and yes, it is horrible. More horrible than tearing an ACL.
I know that these are two different things. I know that people feel awkward talking about death. It's easier to talk about knee surgeries than it is to talk about a dead baby. But I need their support. I need them to acknowledge that I gave birth and that my son died. Why do they pretend that nothing happened? That is so hurtful - as if losing my baby was an insignificant event...
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