Already Halfway Through!

I’m not writing as much as I would like to. Part of it is me getting home completely exhausted at the end of my work day. I keep running in my head all the things I need to write about, but then never get it done. So here goes.

A few days shy of week 20, my dear husband (DH) and I went for the anatomy scan at the hospital. We were excited as it was going to be the longest and most detailed ultrasound and we were going to find out the sex of the baby. This was the first time DH was present at an ultrasound. He was really amazed, took some videos and pictures. It was sweet to see him so excited. I was lying there, just trying not to fall asleep.

We did find out that our little baby is a boy. The ultrasound tech said it was very clear that it is a boy. I’m happy. I didn’t really have a preference. I would like to have 1 boy and 1 girl and I didn’t mind the order in which that came. Although, I always thought that it would be nice for a little girl to have a ‘big brother’. Let’s see if that happens in a few years! J

We got tons of pictures of the ultrasound. We could see our son (yeah, I guess I can say that now!) open/close his mouth, stretch out, move a lot. It is becoming more real, although I do often forget that I’m pregnant. I am definitely showing now, but not enough to make it obvious.

The most exciting news has been feeling the baby move. A few days after the ultrasound (so at week 20), I clearly started feeling some movements. I felt some stuff before, but I wasn’t sure if it really was the baby…but now I’m sure. It’s pretty clear. It’s been fun to feel him. I like keeping my hand on my tummy as much as possible (while watching TV, while lying down, while on the bus) to feel him. DH can’t feel him yet though. I look forward for him to be able to feel the baby too. It’s something that  is nice to share.

This past weekend I bought the first set of baby stuff. Compared to other women that I discuss with online, I’m a little late. Most of them have bought tons of things, including cribs, toys, clothes, diapers…this weekend, I really went out to buy  myself some maternity work pants and bras, but then decided to stop at the GAP since I had a $20 coupon. I went in and headed straight to the sales rack. Baby clothes are so cute, but they can be so expensive…so I decided not to go crazy. I got 4 onesies and with my coupon, that came out to $5.43. I think that’s quite a deal. I got home, took pictures of the clothes and sent it to my sister. Today, I also sent the pictures to my parents.

I had what they call ‘sciatic pain’. It’s a sharp pain on the left buttocks. Basically, whenever I would get up after sitting for a while, I would feel the pain and have a hard time walking. I remember feeling a slight discomfort at week 7 onwards, but recently it got much worst. I often had to limp for  a while before being able to walk properly. My chiropractor and my fitness trainer gave me a couple of stretches to try out and recommended I roll on a foam roller or tennis ball. Last week, I worked out 4 days and suddenly the pain stopped.  I think I need to stay active – at least, that’s the learning I took from this experience. I haven’t felt the pain in over a week now. Knock on wood!

I feel a little ashamed of the fact that I don’t feel connected to the baby yet. I thought I would feel connection and love as soon as I found out the sex and then  I thought I would feel it when I started feeling him move. But still nothing. I always thought I’d be the kind of person who would be totally in love with my unborn child…I sure hope this doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom. I hope that will change soon. My DH though, has been really cute. Whenever he gets home he says hi to me and then rubs my belly and says ‘hi baby’. He often kisses my belly and talks to the baby. I haven’t been able to just talk to the baby yet, but I do try to sing out loud and play the piano often for him.

I do feel a little overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. I need to seriously start a baby registry, but I don’t know what to get. That’s my main problem. Some of my friends who were recently pregnant said they would help me out. I do need help. I’m so clueless. I’m hoping to get most of what I need through gifts so that we don’t have to spend too much. Since DH is starting his business, he is not earning a salary yet, which means I’m the breadwinner. I think that we’re doing really well, but I guess we don’t have as much money as we did a few months ago. Ideally, I would love for the baby to have his own room, to decorate it nicely for him, like most women do…but I think we’ll keep things simple. We live in a 1-bdrm apartment and although we are looking for a 2-bdrm, it might not happen since rental prices in this city are skyrocketing. Anyway, we’ll probably put the crib in our bedroom and make one of our dressers the ‘baby’s dresser’.  I know that the baby doesn’t really mind if he has his own room or not...but I still wish I could do that for him. 

I’m still feeling good, not sick, not in pain. I feel lucky that it’s been so good so far. I know many women who are already suffering at this stage. This baby has been good to me. J

Sharing the news with my boss

I finally did it and talked to my boss. It went better than I expected. For some reason, I expected him to say something horrible, totally ignoring HR rules…but none of that happened. He is fairly new to the company, so he wasn’t able to tell me what I  would be entitled to. He congratulated me and said that he needs to talk to upper management.  This was last Tuesday.

On Friday, he messaged me asking to meet me so that we could talk. Unfortunately, I was completely swamped and we only ended up talking on Monday. Overall, I’m fairly pleased. I’ll take all my sick days for 2014 (and hope I don’t get sick during the year) + the vacation I would have accrued by Feb (3 days). Those would be paid. Then I get to take a medical leave of 6 weeks (unpaid). Plus, they’re giving me an extra paid week… as long as I don’t say a word to HR.

My boss talked to 2 other senior managers, but they haven’t said a word to me. Not even a congrats or ‘we heard the news’. I don’t know if they’re waiting for me to make a large announcement …but I think it’s weird that they haven’t said a word.  I work in a small office (we’re 13 people), so it’s not like they don’t know me or like they haven’t run into me. Anyway.

I shared the news with the 3 colleagues that work on the same project as me, as they will probably be the most affected when I’m on leave. Then I told 2 other people whom I’m the closest with. During a team meeting, one of the senior execs ended by saying “does anyone else have anything to share?” He was clearly looking at me. But I don’t feel comfortable announcing it to the whole team at once, in a meeting setting. It’s a little awkward and I’m kind of shy. I’ll tell some more people slowly. The others will eventually notice my growing belly and put 2 and 2 together.

So now, I just go to get my doctor to fill out a medical leave form, write down all the days I’m planning to take off, send it to the HR and I’m done. Yay! It wasn’t as bad as I though.

I’m still feeling really great. I’m not tired, not nauseous, not sick. I’ve gained about 3 pounds since the start of my pregnancy and I’m noticing my belly grow. I look forward to my long ultrasound in a couple of weeks. We’ll  finally find out the sex of the baby!