Dear Leo,
Today, Wednesday, Oct 30th at noon was your cremation. Your father and I arrived there at 11:30am and we got a change to hold you one more time, caress your cheek and admire your perfect little face. I am still amazed at how long your fingers are. I was telling your dad that you couldn't have probably become a great pianist. We also laughed at how much hair you had on your little head. Oh Leo, you are just so beautiful and so perfect!
A hindu priest arrived at 12:20 and performed a ceremony. Your dad and I were a little lost, since we've never gone through this before, but the priest was explaining everything he was doing to us. We sprinkled holy water (from the Ganges) on you, the sprinkled some special herbs, camphor and some other things. Then, we placed flowers all around your body. Your dad then carried you and placed you in the crematorium. It was this large industrial machine. I was scared as soon as I saw it. It hurt me to have you placed in there. Then, your dad pressed the button.
When we left the room with the industrial machines, we cried. We will never see your perfect face again. The priest explained to us that we just placed your body in the crematorium, not your soul. I know you'll always be with us, in our hearts. That does make me feel a little better, but it's still hard because I can't kiss, hug, hold, caress your soul.
This morning, right before the cremation, we got an email from a swami from a temple in Kauai. That temple is of significance importance to your dad, since it follows his traditions. We've never been there, but we are planing to go when we go to Hawaii in November. You were supposed to go with us, while in my belly...but now we decided to spread your ashes there. The swami said that they'll do a ceremony there today at the same time as your cremation...the ceremony is for you Leo. Then, they'll do another one for your dad and I. Apparently, today is the biggest celebration they've had in 12 years. Here's an excerpt of his email:
Today, Wednesday, Oct 30th at noon was your cremation. Your father and I arrived there at 11:30am and we got a change to hold you one more time, caress your cheek and admire your perfect little face. I am still amazed at how long your fingers are. I was telling your dad that you couldn't have probably become a great pianist. We also laughed at how much hair you had on your little head. Oh Leo, you are just so beautiful and so perfect!
A hindu priest arrived at 12:20 and performed a ceremony. Your dad and I were a little lost, since we've never gone through this before, but the priest was explaining everything he was doing to us. We sprinkled holy water (from the Ganges) on you, the sprinkled some special herbs, camphor and some other things. Then, we placed flowers all around your body. Your dad then carried you and placed you in the crematorium. It was this large industrial machine. I was scared as soon as I saw it. It hurt me to have you placed in there. Then, your dad pressed the button.
When we left the room with the industrial machines, we cried. We will never see your perfect face again. The priest explained to us that we just placed your body in the crematorium, not your soul. I know you'll always be with us, in our hearts. That does make me feel a little better, but it's still hard because I can't kiss, hug, hold, caress your soul.
This morning, right before the cremation, we got an email from a swami from a temple in Kauai. That temple is of significance importance to your dad, since it follows his traditions. We've never been there, but we are planing to go when we go to Hawaii in November. You were supposed to go with us, while in my belly...but now we decided to spread your ashes there. The swami said that they'll do a ceremony there today at the same time as your cremation...the ceremony is for you Leo. Then, they'll do another one for your dad and I. Apparently, today is the biggest celebration they've had in 12 years. Here's an excerpt of his email:
"As it happens, tomorrow , we will be in the middle of our biggest celebration in 12 years: marking the 12th anniversary of the passing of our Satguru, Sivaya Subramuniyaswami whom we called Gurudeva. One cycle of Jupiter, exactly, since he was cremated. It is a week-long festival with devotees from all over the world. It is noteworthy that, right in the middle of our marking that event, our devas here will be informed of Leo's cremation and asked to attend it and to look after everyone involved. We think probably Gurudeva and Leo will be aware of each other in the marvelous world where they are."
I didn't understand all of it, so your dad had to explain it to me. Sivaya Subramuniyaswami was the person who started the temple in Kauai. He passed away on this day. The Tamil calendar works according to planets, which is why 12 years is a big event.
My father too has been emailing me saying that he feels your presence near him. I do wish you were with us, but your life Leo, as short as it was, has already touched so many lives.
We love you,
Ta maman qui t'aime fort
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