I sometimes feel pretty stupid for sharing my pregnancy with others. I was so excited, so happy. I did this whole thing where I announced my pregnancy through fortune cookies. And to my parents and in-laws, we waited for them to come visit and video-taped the announcement. I made such a huge deal out of it. Finally, it was my turn to be a beautiful pregnant woman and a soon-to-be-mom. And what do I have to show for it, but a broken heart?
It's like those times when you're excited to share to the world that you will do something great: 'I'm going back to school" or "I'll run a marathon" and then something happens, you don't do it and you feel like a loser, a failure.
That's how I feel now. I did wait about 18-20 weeks before I started telling people I was pregnant. I didn't want to share the big news and then have a miscarriage during the precarious first 3 months. I thought I was in the clear after that 3-month mark. I thought all was good. How could I be so naive?
What will happen next time I'm pregnant? Should I even share the news before I hear my baby cry? Will I enjoy my pregnancy or constantly be praying for 'just one more day' until I finally hit the 40-week mark? As much as I look forward to being pregnant again, I'm nervous. I've read about so many women who have had multiple losses...now I know not to say "this won't happen to me". The truth is, it could happen to me, heck, it HAS happened to me.
Giving birth is such a natural process, millions of women have done it. Why couldn't I get it right?
It's like those times when you're excited to share to the world that you will do something great: 'I'm going back to school" or "I'll run a marathon" and then something happens, you don't do it and you feel like a loser, a failure.
That's how I feel now. I did wait about 18-20 weeks before I started telling people I was pregnant. I didn't want to share the big news and then have a miscarriage during the precarious first 3 months. I thought I was in the clear after that 3-month mark. I thought all was good. How could I be so naive?
What will happen next time I'm pregnant? Should I even share the news before I hear my baby cry? Will I enjoy my pregnancy or constantly be praying for 'just one more day' until I finally hit the 40-week mark? As much as I look forward to being pregnant again, I'm nervous. I've read about so many women who have had multiple losses...now I know not to say "this won't happen to me". The truth is, it could happen to me, heck, it HAS happened to me.
Giving birth is such a natural process, millions of women have done it. Why couldn't I get it right?
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